Today dear readers I am on the blog tour for Drinking Custard Diary Of A Confused Mum (Published 30/9/21) By Lucy Beaumont. A big thank you to the publishers Monoray for sending me a copy to read and review. Also the wonderful Anne for the invite, always a pleasure.
Drinking Custard Diary Of A Confused Mum By Lucy Beaumont (With interruptions from Jon Richardson)
Known for her sharp, witty and surreal view on everyday life, Lucy shares the unpredictable craziness of being a mum in this brilliant and laugh-out-loud ‘mumoir’. Mums everywhere will recognise the madness of it all. From when Lucy was hospitalised with indigestion in her third trimester (blame the burrito), to when she was *this close* to slapping her hypnobirthing instructor, to finding herself drinking a whole pint of custard in one sitting. Drinking Custard also captures Lucy’s marriage to comedian Jon, as they navigate Lucy’s raging pregnancy hormones and balk at pram prices together.
About The Author
Lucy Beaumont is a talented stand-up, comedy actress and writer. She is the writer and star of BBC Radio 4’s To Hull and Back, writer of Channel 4’s Hullraisers and cowriter of Dave’s Meet The Richardsons which returns for a second series this year. Lucy is a well-known daughter of Hull and is passionate about her hometown. She has appeared on numerous entertainment shows; Artsnight (BBC2), Jon Richardson: Ultimate Worrier (Dave), Alan Davies’ As Yet Untitled (Dave), QI (BBC2), Drunk History (Comedy Central), Jonathan Ross Show (ITV), The One Show (BBC1), Cats Does Countdown (C4), What’s Going to Kill Us (C5), Live At The Electric (BBC Three) and featured in a Maltesers advertising campaign.
If you are looking for tips on how to be a great, amazing, perfect parent then dear reader this book is not for you. This is Lucy’s diary of what it’s honestly like to be a mum. She writes the truth and not the hyped up social media lie we have all been led to believe that is instagrammable. Told in seven parts Lucy and her husband Jon embark on the adventure of parenthood with their adorable but terrifying toddler Elsie.
What I adored most about this book is Beaumont’s pure honesty about being a mother. It’s confusing, stressful and so so so tiring. As a mother to four boys (NO MORE) I can strongly relate to those long 9 months of pregnancy, the unexpected change of the birthing plan and the endless night feeds. Now that Elsie is at school and life has calmed down Beaumont has had the time to look at her diary and work out what actually happened over the last five years. And WOW dear reader, it is certainly like nothing I have ever read before. My face ached from smiling and giggling at how beautifully embarrassing and real life can be. I loved the interruptions by Jon in the footnotes, together they made this book a joy to read.
Beaumont tells the reader about how she met Jon at The Fighting Cocks ( Yes dear reader, this is a real pub, one I went to a few times when I was at Kingston Uni) and how she longed for a baby, to be like the mum in the Fairy Liquid advert. Then the reality of actually being a mother was a shock. A BIG shock. I giggled when I read her list of Why I Want A Child as unless you have children you don’t grasp the reality of actually having children, messy, loud and a constant lack of sleep. You imagine it’s all white carpets with a happy baby crawling about your mess free home. HAHAHAHA
Beaumont lived with Jon in Surbiton and became a tad obsessed with how she appeared to the other women. The ones in their floaty dresses and perfect hair. She calls herself a snob and prides herself on it, wanting a Bugaboo (£869!) to shop in Waitrose and to have the approval from the Laura Ashley Mums at the baby groups. She admits that she only brought a mud kitchen because there’s a Scandinavian idea that if your child plays with mud and has a connection to nature they won’t get depressed when they are older. She still wants to be working class as her and Jon came from humble beginnings but also wants to be in one of those interior design magazines that no one buys. She doesn’t want to be put into a box and wants to be accepted but hasn’t forgotten her roots. She admits that she knows she’s being silly and wants her baby to be grounded, to enjoy avocados but also go to greasy spoon cafes.
The tales Beaumont tells will leave you with tears in your eyes, happy joyous tears. The Mother and Baby Massage class, I strongly agree with her, it should be a class where the mothers get a lovely relaxing massage. I could not stop laughing when during her pregnancy her boobs started to leak and it looked yellow. She freaked and thought she was leaking custard because she had been addicted to drinking the stuff. The midwife reassured her that yes, that can happen. Just thinking about it now is making me chuckle.
Beaumont also talks about her relationship with her own mother. She reflects back on her childhood and how she was surrounded by love with her family. Her mother used to turn up at her school and pretend to be the queen and once hid in a bush to check she was ok. She grew up wanting different things from her mother and always admired Laura Ashley. But she is proud of her roots, her home, her mother. She admires how being a single parent must be tough and feels extremely lucky that she has Jon. Parenting as a team is tough but parenting solo…that is a brave and admirable thing indeed.
Beaumont is extremely relatable and I felt like I was chatting with a much loved friend. A friend who completely understands the Jekyll and Hyde that is motherhood. Someone I can be honest and open with about how tough this parenting gig is. I don’t blame her for wanting to look after a pet bull when she saw an advert on Facebook during her pregnancy and wanted to bring him home to cuddle and have parties with his bull friends. I would be exactly the same. Hormones, it’s always the hormones that mess with your emotions.
I give Drinking Custard Diary Of A Confused Mum By Lucy Beaumont (With interruptions from Jon Richardson) a Five out of Five paw rating.
These stories are amusing, embarrassing and just pure brilliant.
I had SO MUCH FUN reading this book. I use caps because OH MY GOD IT’S BRILLIANT. Sorry to shout but it is. Where was this book 8 years ago when I first had my eldest, I would have killed to have something like this then. Every mum, new and old, even dads should read this. It’s highly relatable to how parenthood is terrifying as all hell but also a wonderful experience.
I am curious as to how she preferred to drink custard: Hot or cold? And I am sorely tempted to try it at some point. It sounds most delicious, I do love custard. And also I do hope Beaumont buys a bunny outfit one day. Do it!
Don’t forget to follow the rest of the blog tour, dates below, enjoy.
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