Three years! Three years today and I was giving birth to our amazing gorgeous and cheeky son. Wow! Time has just whizzed past us these past few years. So much has happened. Some good, and some bad. I still can’t believe that I am a mother. Me! It doesn’t feel that long ago that I was playing grown ups with my toy Tommy (from the Rugrats of course) and Tiny Tears dolls pretending to be a mother. And now here I am, years later. A mum to two boys! Just, WOW!!
I’m still not sure if being a mother is something that naturally happens or that you learn to become? I think it’s a bit of both. You definitely feel a strong bond with your child and would kill for them like a lioness protecting their cubs. But you also learn how to be the mum in you. Make sense? What works best for other mothers may not work for you. Only you (and their father of course) know what is best for your little monster. Everyone is different so of course every parenting style is going to be different. You can’t learn how to be a parent overnight and definitely not from a book no matter how many you read. You learn and grow with your child. It’s a beautiful nightmare at times with the screaming and the crying. But there are the moments when you are laughing together, playing and cuddling up under a blanket watching a film. Sweet loving moments that make you realise why you had children and can’t imagine life without them. I am getting all soppy now and teary! moving on.
Cabbit’s birth was difficult and I won’t bore you with the details. At the time it was traumatic but in these three years I have learned with how to accept it is what it is and move on. Now I look back at it and smile because it was the birth of my first son. I don’t see the horror story that I told myself for so long. I see my son smiling at me as he was placed on my chest for skin to skin contact. I hear my husband singing A Perfect Circle to him as his first lullaby and I feel the love as we all cuddled each other for the first time as a family. My c-section scar is a scar I wear proudly because it’s a symbol of how my son entered this world. People feel sorry for c-section mothers and automatically assume it means they didn’t give birth. Couldn’t be further from the truth. We did give birth. End of. We may not have had a natural birth but WE DID GIVE BIRTH to our babies. A different kind of birth yes but still a birth. Apologies if that sounds angry but I do get annoyed with the pity comments when people hear about a c-section birth. Don’t get me wrong, giving birth naturally is hard work! I got to experience that with my second born but at the end of the day, no matter how we mothers gave birth, we are still bringing life into this world. We are still giving birth. I should probably stop staying the word birth!
Anyway. Cabbit is 3! He is still a cheeky little monster that makes me laugh. Boy does he make me laugh. He has such a wicked sense of humour and an infectious laugh. I hope that never changes as he gets older. Such a strange thought, to think he will be a teenager one day and then an adult. Scary! But for now I am enjoying every tantrum, every laugh and every day with my son. It’s true and cliché that they really do grow up quick. Soon he will be going to nursery five days a week and then school then college if he wants to and after that who knows?! What I do know is that his father and I will support him no matter what he decides to do. There will be no pressure but he will not take the Mick. A nice balance I think, yin and yang.
Today will be spent opening presents, making pizza, seeing our friend E-pony and eating cake. Just enjoying the day as a family and celebrating our oldest child’s birthday.
I am starting to feel a little teary. Oh god! I need a doughnut and some tea!
Hop hop wiggle wiggle