Are you actively seeking work or just sitting on your butt all day stuffing your face with my hard earned tax money?

Oh what a day I have had. Since my past two failed attempts at Jobseekers I decided that three’s a charm. I thought that since I have moved, maybe the new jobcentre will be more helpful and understanding of my situation. [Insert maniacally evil laughter] Oh was I wrong.

It seems that all jobcentres are exactly the same. They have the same layout, more security guards then staff members and the staff saying the same things over and over, “Wait here” “Sit here” “Fill this out” “Go over there” “Fill out these forms.”  The whole security issue really confuses me, I do wonder why there is so many of them. There is so much form filling, reading and information to take in, I feel like I should receive some sort of certificate for getting through it all. The whole process always leaves me feeling negative about myself, that I have to now go to an ‘Advisor’ every two weeks for them to tell me what I already know.  I feel like I am being punished for my past decisions, that a job didn’t work out or I could no longer stay due to university and moving away.  Never a positive experience, I would not recommend it to anyone.

As I filled in the endless forms, I had a quick peek at the people around me. Not much to my surprise it was all the usual suspects and the stereotypes that apply for benefits. Angry looking middle-aged or old men with faded tattoos and a beer bellies, young mothers dressed in tracksuits or clothes that cost WAY more than anyone could afford on benefits holding one of many of their kids telling them to ‘Shut up’ and a handful of young people looking bored on their iPhones. I never judge people on how they look but I couldn’t help myself when I overheard conversations such as “I had an appointment this morning at 10, can I still see them now?” It was two in the afternoon; the man got nasty with the woman in charge and refused to leave, forcing security to escort him off the premises.  My poor ears were assaulted by his yells of insults about the country we live in.  Also while I was there a fight started outside the room I was in, a man came rushing in with a bleeding nose screaming he had been attacked. At that moment I wanted to bolt. It made me realise I was halfway into hell on a one way ticket. Why didn’t I pay the extra for a return when I had the chance? Damn!

I quote from the legendary character, John Hammond from the awesome film Jurassic Park, “I don’t blame people for their mistakes. But I do ask that they pay for them.”  I am in this situation because I chose to be but it doesn’t mean I want to be here. Believe me I’d rather be slaving away in a ‘9-to-5’ job earning money and complaining about how much I hate my job like any normal person.

I don’t plan to be unemployed forever but I can’t help laughing at the idea of an employer turning around to me now in an interview, knowing that I am 18 weeks pregnant and saying “You’re hired.” Jobseekers made it clear to me that my chances right now are looking slim “You won’t get a job because you’re pregnant. You’re not a desirable candidate.”  Definitely not professional comments, which have put a tiny rain cloud over my head. BUT I refuse to let them dictate to me who will or won’t hire me because I happen to be pregnant.  I have worked since I was sixteen, held down jobs while at school, college and university. I have moved away from my hometown, lived and worked in a different city and got my degree. There’s no way I am going to be made to feel bad about myself because I am forced to seek support and help. These ‘Advisors’ don’t care about you as a person and what you have been through, they aren’t paid to. They are paid to make sure you don’t get a bean to survive on because too many people rely upon benefits. I like making my own money and it has taken me a long time to go to Jobseekers for help and even when I first applied I never received a single payment. I still have not seen any payments from Jobseekers.

I need pie. Lots and lots of pie. Pie will make this all better. Apple pie in particular, with custard.